Fall

Fall

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Changes

         A few months ago something terrible happened in my life, something I will not discuss. In the turn of events that followed from this experience, I realized that for a long time I hadn’t been true to myself. I wasn't happy with the way I was living life and I knew I had some really tough decisions to make. Somewhere in all of this confusion, I had the weirdest thought to take a vacation to Ireland. It was just one of those random thoughts that came to me in the middle of the night. I decided that I was going to take this trip, and that August would be the perfect time since I was graduating college. The summer went on, and I was constantly struggling between my feelings- what is best for my kids and do I really feel this way?
     When vacation time rolled around, I was excited and nervous. I was getting to spend 9 days with two great friends in Ireland, sightseeing and exploring a new place! I knew I would miss my kids, but I needed a break from life. I felt emotionally exhausted from the constant struggles that I was feeling. When I went on vacation, I was pretty sure of what would happen when I returned home, and I was hoping that by stepping away from my life, the answers would become clearer. I have no words to describe Ireland, but it is a place I feel everyone should visit. The people are friendly, and Ireland is well, simply put, breathtaking! Thanks to my friends, I laughed like I hadn’t in months, I was able to relax, and remember what I loved about life! Overall the trip was amazing!
     One thing I learned from this trip is that sometimes unexplained things happen at the most obstinate times.  One moment you’re debating about how you feel with your current life, you have made a decision, and then something else happens to add to the complication. I have no words to describe why things happen but I now believe when they do it’s for a special reason.
     Since returning home, I have separated from my spouse. This decision was tough because of my kids, but I know I am doing what is best. This decision wasn’t made overnight, it was made after six months of serious debating. I cannot say life is easy now, it’s definitely complicated, and amazingly my kids are doing great! I have never been so proud of my boys; sometimes they are wiser beyond their years. I am looking forward to this next year and all of the unexplained changes!
 “Nothing worthwhile is ever without complications.”  Nora Roberts