A few months ago something terrible
happened in my life, something I will not discuss. In the turn of events that
followed from this experience, I realized that for a long time I hadn’t
been true to myself. I wasn't happy with the way I was living life and I knew I
had some really tough decisions to make. Somewhere in all of this confusion, I
had the weirdest thought to take a vacation to Ireland. It was just one of
those random thoughts that came to me in the middle of the night. I decided
that I was going to take this trip, and that August would be the perfect time
since I was graduating college. The summer went on, and I was constantly
struggling between my feelings- what is best for my kids and do I really feel
this way?
When vacation time rolled around, I was
excited and nervous. I was getting to spend 9 days with two great friends in
Ireland, sightseeing and exploring a new place! I knew I would miss my kids,
but I needed a break from life. I felt emotionally exhausted from the constant
struggles that I was feeling. When I went on vacation, I was pretty sure of
what would happen when I returned home, and I was hoping that by stepping away
from my life, the answers would become clearer. I have no words to describe Ireland,
but it is a place I feel everyone should visit. The people are friendly, and
Ireland is well, simply put, breathtaking! Thanks to my friends, I laughed like
I hadn’t in months, I was able to relax, and remember what I loved about life! Overall
the trip was amazing!
One thing I learned from this trip is that
sometimes unexplained things happen at the most obstinate times. One moment you’re debating about how you feel
with your current life, you have made a decision, and then something else
happens to add to the complication. I have no words to describe why things
happen but I now believe when they do it’s for a special reason.
Since returning home, I have separated from
my spouse. This decision was tough because of my kids, but I know I am doing
what is best. This decision wasn’t made overnight, it was made after six months
of serious debating. I cannot say life is easy now, it’s definitely complicated,
and amazingly my kids are doing great! I have never been so proud of my boys;
sometimes they are wiser beyond their years. I am looking forward to this next
year and all of the unexplained changes!
“Nothing worthwhile is ever without complications.” ― Nora Roberts
